An Old Friend
I’ve deleted you from social media;
I’ve erased you from my mind.
But I can’t help but wonder;
Do you sleep alright at night?
Does the thought of how you hurt me,
Ever come across your screen?
I can’t help but doubt it;
Because for narcissists that isn’t a thing.
Any time your name comes up,
I have to catch my breath.
The things you’ve said and done to me,
Nearly drove me to my death.
I tell myself I’m over it;
Move on and let it go.
Except I’m not that strong;
And my confidence is all for show.
Deep down, I’m still hurting;
Will I ever be alright?
Will I ever not care;
Will I ever sleep peacefully at night?
Will I ever be able to forgive you;
Will you ever apologize to me?
I know that’s not realistic;
As both things are unforeseen.
I tell myself to do the right thing;
I try my best to bite my tongue.
But I am a guilty party;
Your shortcomings I have sung.
I’ve been without a therapist;
So I continue to write.
This poor, pathetic blog;
A jab at my haters that I cite.
There will always be that one;
Or two or three or four.
But the love and support I get;
Is worth so much more.
Just the other day;
An old friend stopped to say hi.
And before she left;
She looked me in the eye.
She thanked me for my blog;
She encouraged me to keep writing.
She said I was an inspiration;
She told me to keep fighting.
Sometimes at the most unexpected place;
And at the most unexpected time.
Someone positive impacts me;
And a thank you, I feel inclined.
Thank you for the comfort;
Thank you for your support.
It meant so much to hear the words;
And my writing you exhort.
I’m reminded people are reading;
Paying attention to my life.
I am still a mother;
I am still a wife.
Embarrassment is never something;
I want to bestow on them.
But my truth is not always glamorous;
Most often it is grim.
And should you change your opinion of them;
Because of my struggles and faults.
You are not a friend of ours;
And out that door, you can waltz!
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