Hot Mess

My emotions this week have been nothing other than a hot mess. My coworkers reassure me I’m entitled to being a mess due to pregnancy hormones, and I think today I’m just going to have to accept it as that.

Yesterday I had a meltdown over losing an umbrella. Full on tears because I could not locate my favorite umbrella. This was no Dollar General umbrella either, it was a nice one from the gift shop at work! Jacob searched my entire vehicle and the garage with no luck. I was actually mad at him for not finding it. Then I was mad at myself for not remembering where it was or god-forbid I left it somewhere!

Today is my birthday. I love birthdays. I love my birthday and I love celebrating other people’s birthdays. I know some people don’t think birthdays are really that important, they’re just another day- but I like to make them special. It’s your/my special day.

Birthdays while pregnant though open the flood gates! I’ve cried at literally everything. My boss remembered a rant I went on about a specific cinnamon gum I like and a specific cinnamon gum I do not like– she got the one I like! Yes, it really only takes a pack of gum to make my day! It’s never been about the price of things, to me, it had always been the thought. Not that I won’t take your $100 gift cards to Rural King (JK)!

MJ woke me up this morning with a big ol kiss and “Habby Birtay!” It seriously made my morning. I then fought with myself for about ten minutes on whether or not to wear white pants to work, and a few tears were even shed! Once I told myself I was in fact wearing them, then the battle of shoes came in! Nonetheless, I was late for work!

On my way to work I heard a song I’ve heard a hundred times and even have downloaded in my iTunes. It’s just another song. Except for today, I actually listened to the words and I sang the words, for me. Holy cow! Who cries this much before 8 am? So for once I’m not going to put my emotions into my own words, but I think Bobby Pinson and Luke Dick can sum it up perfectly for me. Dierks Bentley and Brothers Osborne sing it way better than I do, but the words are absolutely perfect for my journey– here’s to year 31!

Half your life you struggle
Half your life you fly
Half your life makin’ trouble
Half your life makin’ it right
One day I’m the exception
Most days I’m just like most
Some days I’m headed in the right direction
And some days I ain’t even close
I’m a little bit steady but still little bit rollin’ stone
I’m a little bit heaven but still a little bit flesh-and-bone
Little found, little don’t-know-where-I-am
I’m a little bit holy water, but still a little bit burning man

I always loved the highway
I just don’t run it as fast
I still go wherever the wind blows me
But I always find my way back
I still don’t get it right sometimes
I just don’t get it as wrong

>>>I still go a little bit crazy sometimes…
Yeah, but now I don’t stay near as long<<<

I’m a little bit steady but still little bit rollin’ stone
I’m a little bit heaven but still a little bit flesh-and-bone
Little found, little don’t-know-where-I-am
I’m a little bit holy water, but still a little bit burning man 🙂