Time
Time. Everyone’s perception of time is different. After talking with a friend last night, we realized how completely different our view of time is. In her words, “It’s only an hour” and in my words, “It’s a whole hour!” Let me explain. To someone with depression, time moves much...
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Another Girl… !ish
If you haven’t heard by now (ya know, like in the olden days when word of mouth was the main form of communication) our family is expecting another little girl! Jacob and I both really had our hopes up for a boy, and I won’t lie and pretend like...
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I’m Still a Rock Star
At my most recent OB appointment, I confessed that I just feel like something is going to go terribly wrong with this pregnancy; I just have this gut feeling. My practitioner simply laughed and said, “It’s because you’re a mom and you have anxiety!” I had to laugh it...
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For You Are Dust, and to Dust You Shall Return
It’s that time of year again… the Lenten Season! Almost every year I give up Facebook for Lent. To some it’s become expectant, to others I still get the eye roll. But I’ve had to come to the conclusion that I shouldn’t really care if others expect it or...
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Unexpected Progress
One of the more embarrassing characteristics of my bipolar disorder is what I had being referring to as manic episodes, but honestly, it’s not really mania. After doing more research and talking with a professional, I have also been diagnosed with IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder). Mania usually lasts longer...
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I Don’t Want This Child
Now that word is officially out about our expectant child, I be can real. It’s not pretty, and it’s definitely not something I’m proud of, but I truly believe I cannot be the only person with these feelings, and I think it’s ok to have them. Prepare yourself for...
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Nostalgia is a Seductive Liar
Last night I watched a short video clip highlighting some of Michael Jordan’s greatest plays (mostly dunks, of course) and it brought back so many childhood memories of watching the Bulls with my Grandpa Ervin (Trucker). I was young during the Chicago Bulls dynasty. I really only remember the...
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Hail Mary, Full of Grace, The Lord is with… ME!
For the past two weeks I have had something weighing heavy on my mind. I’m probably going to go deeper than I otherwise normally would, but stay with me. I’m not going to pretend I am a holy-roller or that I’m holier than thou. I can’t say I go...
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Enough
Sometimes… I get so dang tired of trying. Trying is exhausting. I don’t want to try anymore. I want to be a better person and I’m slowly learning how to do so, but it is so freaking hard. Are we allowed days of not trying? Will it send me...
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I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T, do you know what that means?
“She got her own house, she got her own car.” Except I don’t. I am the exact opposite of independent. I’ve had others describe me as “Miss Independent,” but it is actually very far from the truth. In fact, I am D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T. My last session with dude we discussed...
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