I’m just trying to get through the holidays…

Get through! Christmas is the greatest day in the whole wide world! Buddy the Elf would be so disappointed in me, but the holidays seem to be the time my hypomania increases, my agitation increases, my depression increases… everything seems to heighten this time of year. Maybe it’s the...
Read More

Perfect is Boring

My mom asked me if I could tell her when I knew it was time to get help, or how I knew it was time to seek help. Let me be quite honest, I didn’t know. For years I’ve always thought there was something wrong with me, but I...
Read More

Didn’t He Know?

*This is my first recorded manic episode, written in the deer blind. As silly as most of this will sound, it is what I go through, a lot.* Why today of all days I thought I could be independent. I decided that even though Jake couldn’t get off work...
Read More

It’s going to be ok!

So after throwing myself out there and being completely vulnerable, I got responses I was not anticipating. My mind told me everyone will think you’re doing this for attention, I’d get a few nice comments from my family members, and I’d live to see another depressing day. Boy was...
Read More

An open letter to my past… and my future:

I recently started seeking professional help for a whirlwind of emotions I cannot control. Turns out, I’m holding on to a lot of guilt about my past. The gambling, the drinking, the compulsive spending, the lying, the manic episodes… all of it. Now I’m going to make an educated...
Read More