Parenting 102

I’m sure there are thousands of blogs out there on the interweb jumping at the opportunity to help you be a better parent. I’m sure these blogs are full of helpful tips and suggestions, surrounded by colorful borders and pictures.

This is not one of those blogs.

You know what… do it your way! Maybe it’s not the best way and maybe it gets a few frowns, but if it works, no judgement here!

Today I was browsing for unconventional ways to get your toddler to take their medicine. None of the 15 tips/tricks even came close to helping with the reality of Satan’s spawn showing up at my house when it comes time to get out the syringe. So guess what? We got creative. I’m sure it borderline warrants a call to DCFS, but it worked. I’m sure you’ve heard or seen the suggestions of flavoring your child’s medicine, putting it towards the back of their throat to dodge their taste buds, hiding it in a juice box, have a positive attitude, so on and so forth. Maybe those work for you… but what we found most helpful last night was this: Lock your child in the garage with the lights off and tell them they’ll have to sleep in the dark garage. Close the door behind you and listen to their cries of help for about 3-5 minutes (it’s going to feel like 15-20, but hang in there). Soon, you will hear silence and a light tap on the door. You will answer, “Who is it? What do you want?” and that precious little voice of an angel will say, “Let me in.” You then ask what the password is and give them a hint… something along the lines of “I’ll take the damn medicine.”

Viola! Problem solved.

Another issue I assume parents have is getting their kids to brush their teeth. I can’t get mine to stop begging to brush her teeth. How you ask? I often tell her no when she asks. I make it seem like it’s a real treat to get to brush your teeth. Eventually I “give in” and say oh alright… and the girl will spend 10 minutes brushing those pearly whites. Easy and done!

Maybe some of you have children with bowel issues. Our issue is often constipation. Have you yourself tried Miralax or Culterelle? We aren’t shitting anyone… they are not tasteless. They are downright disgusting. So I may have most recently channeled my 19 year-old self being the Tippy Cup Champion and taught MJ the meaning of “Chug, chug, chug.” Subsequently, we may or may not have made drinking the Miralax infused water into a kid-friendly version of Zoomy-Zoomy. Once again folks… whatever works!

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